Loving life the way it is

rather tiring day...

woke up early, had breakfast,
then made my way to keppel club for tennis.

then had rain halfway, so we stopped, rested.
then rain stop, so we go dry court and continue to play.
changed my style of playing already
eastern grip for forehand
and single handed backhand.

good to see everyone has improved.
which means I also must improve.
which only means that...
I need to train more.
train more service, forehands and backhands
train till I'm good enough for A division
I believe I can.

and yeah, I need to train more running as well
going for 42km in adidas sundown 2010
42km's a hell of a long journey
run more!

and of course, I cant forget the viola
seem to be losing touch at a few pieces
thats bad... I need to practice more

so thats my holidays.
study (duh) must prepare early for next yr's A lvls
hoping to get at least 3As and a B minimum , and GP A
train running
train tennis
practice viola

I believe all my goals can be accomplished
I just need to focus myself on working for them.

time to go now, byes ppls

Visions, hope, wishes

it has been a long while since I did this

or since I've posted in a manner like this

perhaps gone are these days

whoever will know?

been in quite a different world for these few weeks
all started with a dream I had
and then I've been thinking
maybe all these times, I've been walking in a big mistake?
living in a way that was not meant to be?

I'm losing too much of myself
day, after day, after day.
each attempt slices a part of my soul away
I need to clear myself
I need to take a mirror and look into my past
why have I become like this?

as I write this
I hope that
I will be able to see the truth behing my actions
I will be able to see the truth of myself
I will be able to see the truth behind the scar
and live once again on a fresh day

I cant believe this is happening
I'm crying as I write this
I'm crying, something which has not happened
in over a year
what is happening?
what have I done?

will someone please answer my call?
will someone please talk to me?
will someone please help me?

stay strong, my child

-----Nwk-----

Part Three: on death and dying

on death and dying:
on a hope that they will see this
death
people fear the day they meet him
walking down the path into hades
dying
a process which most fears
leaving this plane we walk upon.
a group of people I must thank
death
when its my turn, I go, I do not fear
walk with him as brothers to his home
dying
pushing open barren doors with no effort
stepping into sunlit, lush meadows
these are the ones who gave me
these do not happen on the physical realm
but on other realms as well
a decision
incurs dying
death of a link between souls
the decision is made
welcome any death it brings
a new life
I have written my past
I shall build my future.
whatever death my choices make
I shall take it in my stride.
with a slight bit of irony.
a new hope
and to end this trilogy
this mindful series of three
a new slate to write on
I thank this group
for giving me new life
two people, especially
writing a new slate
one person, specially
for being a guiding light.
never had people taught me so much
may this story never die
never have I learned so much
-----Nwk-----

Part Two: on sights and separation

on sights and separation:
this group of people
sights are what light up our life
sights are what give us vision
sights also inflict a curse upon us
sights bring in false vision
are none other than
with sight it begins
seeing through your own eyes
when other images fill in
its where deception begins
my beloved RVSE violists
sight bring us ties
sight brings us lies
teaching me the way to live
lies arrive and so does separation
breaking all forms of ties
breaking this lie
resist temptation
resist separation
dampening bad memories of the past
only the strong can resist
only the strong can survive
to survive
is to endure and prosper
we have definitely survived
no lies
no deceptions
but of all the violists
sight of a hope
or death of a wish?
there is one
-----Nwk-----

Part One: on love and living

weird, some might say
yet perhaps unique
a trilogy of my own thoughts
may be the key to a few doors
thanks to her
on love and living...
she seemed weird at first
omen of doom
is love?
or be it the angel of peace,
the dove?
but she thinks in a different way
love complements living
or living complements love?
we ask ourselves:
do we live to love?
or does love make us live?
and helps me with my problems
living for the love of oneself
the way this mind thinks
embrace all that you are given
release those which are taken
love your way which is given
do not tread the path that was taken
one of those who showed
love the way you are made
love the life which shapes you
love your entire being
both inner and outer
love your way of life
love.
for you are unique
true care and concern
I do not live for love
nor does love push me to live
I live love
embracing the way I live
the way I think
the way I do things
the way I have chosen
loving the fact that I'm different
the fact that I'm weird
the fact that I'm...
unique.
thanks to you, you should know who you are
one is down
two more are left
perhaps this trilogy
may give a sight of hope
or the death of a wish
for helping me so far, i could call you madre
-----Nwk-----

We will stand

So, the long awaited day has come, and the time is over.

We played, we all had our fair share of challenge.
we thought through strategies, developed a playing style
watched each other learn
watched each other improve
and together,as a team, we prepared for this day.

This day came, and we went
with a hope to return with victory.
Expected we did not, the might of our opponents.
Perhaps it could be our overestimation
of our own capabilities.
Perhaps it could be that
we did not play our best,
or our effort was not to the max.

What went wrong?
That is not the point.
For what is done is done.
Thinking about it has no use.
But do we fall that easily?
No, I say.

What we will do is to train more
both in time and intensity.
We have our shirt.
Wear that shirt with honour,
wear that shirt with pride.
We will not fall that easily.
Such an incident will spur us further.
We will improve ourselves.

Time will show it all
the fruits of our labour.
We will train our skills
so that one daywe can soar with the eagles up high.

With our determination
We wont give in so easily
We stand united, as one team.
Nothing will bring us down.
We will show everyone
that we are capable
to survive is to endure and prosper
through all these hardships we've went through as a team
we have certainly survived.

Shades

look into your heart
and tell me what you see
a wall of vivid art
or a gloomy tapestry?

is it mind over matter?
or mind over mind?

so we begin a tale
would you listen?
questioning your heart
thats not enough
merged with the mind
then thats enough

in this place of chaos
some can make it through
some can survive
but only a few
can thrive
prosper and learn

and so we ask,
who might these be?

they are the ones
whose minds rule over the minds
whose core has endured
who take risks
but the story must say
not that of any risk
but those that of would be considered,
distilled insanity

mind over mind
only the strong can thrive

the past was never regretted
the future always looked upon
past those who dwell on details
and tread the road for the test

so, after this tale
what do you see?
believe in yourself
do not doubt your actions,
for it'll lead to self-ruin

I believe in all that I do
nothing is true, everything is permitted
insanity for my sights
until the stars grow dark, and the world whispers its end.

and arduous task it might have been
to read until this final verse.
to end off this tale
three people I would mention

to one, hope you have given me, I thank you
to the second, I see it in your eyes, I shall wait
to the third, I still believe
am I right or am I wrong?
Just.
Believe.

----- Nwk -----